NEWS 92FM – HOUSTON
May 11, 2012
Movie Guy Paul Preston talks with afternoon anchors Bonnie Petrie and Mike Barajas about what’s new in theaters. This week, the Tim Burton movie “Dark Shadows”. If you like Tim Burton movies, you’ll like it. If you don’t, you won’t.

(4 min., 17 sec.)

MAY 16, 2012
Haven’t seen Nick Stahl in a movie lately? Well, Stahl hasn’t been seen ANYWHERE lately, to where his wife has filed a missing persons report. Stahl’s been gone from her sight for a week. But the worst part of this story is that we’re linking you to TMZ to read more.
-PP

MAY 15, 2012

Good friend of The Movie Guys Mike, The Edit Doctor, has put together a cool blog post to remember his friend, actor Larry Holden, who died too young last year. Holden appeared in “Batman Begins” and “Memento” to where director Christopher Nolan included Larry in an Easter Egg on special editions of “Memento”, figuring fans, already scouring the film for flaws and discrepancies, would notice the egg. Thing is, nobody has. But you can’t get anything past The Edit Doctor. He offers a nice tribute to Larry’s own filmmaking career, and a look into the Easter Egg at his BLOG. Enjoy.
-PP

MAY 14, 2012

Actor Channing Tatum has been considered for a role in the upcoming Roland Emmerich film “White House Down”. We bring this up ’cause we here at The Movie Guys think he hasn’t been in enough movies lately…
-PP

MAY 13, 2012

In case you haven’t been following, “The Avengers” is making a shit-load of money…
-PP

MAY 12, 2012

Movie fans get excited! There’s a new app that you can give all your personal information to. It’s called YEAH, and it’s like watching DVD extras without the DVD.
-PP

MAY 11, 2012

Slow news day. Here’s a 16th Century painting with the image of Sylvester Stallone in it. This dopey shit squeezed a whole article out of YAHOO! MOVIES.
-PP

THE CASA-SAGA

Italy Hates American Movies (At Least Their Titles…But Also Their Movies) – Part 3

Article by Matteo Molinari

NOTE: The facts of this article are all true; their description has been slightly altered to protect the imbeciles innocents.

It all started in 1981 with Sam Raimi’s “The Evil Dead”.

Somewhere, a dark, dingy office of an Italian movie distributor was the theatre of an eerie conversation:
“Hey, we have the rights for this awesome horror film, ‘The Evil Dead.’”
“Good. What does ‘evil dead’ mean?”
“It means ‘morti cattivi.’”
“Nah, we can’t title it like that, it would be horrible. Hmmmm… Who are the actors?”
“Nobody you know.”
“Ah, crap! Hmmmm… Where does it take place?”
“In a shack surrounded by the woods.”
“Perfect! Let’s call it La Casa!”
“La Casa? As in The House?”
“Yes!”
“But that’s a shack, it’s not really—”
“Poppycock! If you look at a shack at night and you squint a little bit, from a distance it looks like a house. So we got it, La Casa it is!”
“Fine. What do you see on the poster?”
“Hmmmmmm… All right, let’s do it like this: we use the blade of a sickle instead of the letter C, just to suggest death… As per the house, just take the Psycho house and slap it in full view. So we get also an older demographic who remembers Hitchcock’s classic.”
“Who’s Hitchcock?”
“…just make the poster as I told you.”

…and so, “The Evil Dead” came out in Italy as “La Casa”.

Now – wait: the plot thickens.

Five years later, Steve Miner directed “House”. And across the globe, in another office, dark and probably windowless, a second conversation occurred.
“Hey, we got the rights for this awesome horror film, ‘House.’”
“Good. How are we gonna title it, in Italian? What does ‘house’ mean?”
“It means ‘La Casa.’”
“Aaaaah, crap. Isn’t there already a horror movie titled La Casa?”
“Yup.”
“Damn. What is this movie all about?”
“A Vietnam veteran goes to a house to write his novel and some strange presences begin to affect his life.”
“I’ve got it! Let’s call it, Chi È Sepolto in Quella Casa?”
“…as in, Who’s Buried in That House?”
“Yes! Pretty nifty, huh?”
“If you say so…”
“I say so. And let’s recycle the American poster so that we’ll save money. Now, go!”

So far, so… Well, so far. But then…

1987. Two new movies come out: “Evil Dead 2″ and “House II” (or, for the purists, “Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn” and “House II: The Second Story”). Let’s move to two different Italian offices, and let’s listen to the almost simultaneous conversations.
The first one:
“You remember ‘La Casa’? Well, there’s a sequel now.”
“Really? Let’s put it out!”
“With what title now?”
“What a question! It’s a sequel, no? So, ‘La Casa 2′, pronto!”
“All right; it fits.”
“Don’t forget the C with the sickle!”
“I won’t!”

The second one:
“You remember ‘Chi È Sepolto in Quella Casa’? Well, there’s a sequel now.”
“Really? Let’s put it out!”
“With what title now?”
“What a question! It’s a sequel, no? So, ‘La Casa di Helen’, pronto!”
“La Ca— You want to call it Helen’s House? But it’s a sequel! Do you think people will get that? And who the f*ck is Helen?”
“Beats me. Who is she?”
“You brought her into the mix!”
“Ah, she’s probably an ancestor or some stuff like that. Oh, by the way: I’d like if in the poster we can write Casa with a sickle blade instead of a C. It’s sick.”
“But that belongs to La Casa franchise.”
“Yeah, like they invented the sickle and the letter C! Use it – it’ll be grand!”

Still with me, so far? Good. Now the story gets interesting and complicated.

For a moment, let’s not consider the fine 1992 flick “Army of Darkness” – even if it should be here, and just stop for a second in 1988 – when a few important (relatively speaking) events occurred.

England: theaters are invaded (again, relatively speaking) by the horror movie “Dream Demon”.
Italy: someone places his hands onto the movie and threatens to distribute it in Italy:

“We have this horror movie, ‘Dream Demon.’”
“Hmmmmmmmmmmmm… Does it talk about a house? ‘Cause houses are hot nowadays.”
“No, it’s about a woman who has nightmares and when she wakes up , she discovers her demons are real and not very kind.”
“Hmmmmmmmmmmmm… But when she has the nightmares, is she inside of a house?”
“Yeah, I guess–”
“Perfect! I have the ideal title for this movie! ‘La Casa al Numero 13!’”
“What?!”
“Yeah, you know La Casa, so we suggest that it belongs to that series, and we add Number 13 as its civic number, because 13 is unlucky and therefore scary.”
“…yeah, but… The House at Number 13? Number 13 where?”
“In Horror Street, what a question!”
“So, wait, you want to title this movie La Casa al Numero 13 in Horror Street?”
“Yeah! If it doesn’t scream ‘horror’ that, I don’t know what would!”
“…okay.”

Meanwhile, still in 1988, the Italian Filmirage production house is brewing something…
“I’ve had a very original idea: I want to produce a unique horror movie about ghosts, something that nobody has ever seen before. I’ve got the perfect title: La Casa 3!”
“…La Casa 3? Who is titling a movie with a “3” in it, claiming that’s an original?”
“…what about Three Fugitives?”
“Shut up. You want to jump on the bandwagon of Sam Raimi’s movies, don’t you?”
“Maybe.”
“Why?”
“I’m a producer with integrity and class. Plus, I’m trying to make a sh*tload of money. And if we shoot the movie in Massachusetts with a bunch of nobodys, we can also market it in America.”
“As ‘Evil Dead 3?’”
“Nonsense! As… Ghosthouse!”
“Is it going to be any good?”
“Why does everybody keep asking that question?!”
“All right. I’m going to prepare the posters – don’t tell me: you want the sickle C?”
“Nah, that’s too old. Use only the Psycho house. Oh, and by the way: while we’re there in Massachusetts, let’s also shoot another original horror film, very unique.”
“Another one?! What now?”
“La Casa 4!”
“Are you out of your mind?! What the heck–”
“We have Linda Blair, the little girl from ‘The Exorcist’ – who now is probably in her 50’s –and David Hasselhoff from ‘Starcrash’ – who incredibly is still alive!”
“Way to sell your stars. All right, so we’re gonna do ‘La Casa 3′ and ‘La Casa 4.’ And… How are we going to distribute it in America? Ghosthouse 2?”
“No, you silly ninny! That’s for England’s home video! In America it will be Witchery!”
“Is it going to be any good?”
“What a question – no!”
“…if you say so.”
“Yes, I do. And please, come back in two years! I will have a greater idea!”

Fast forward to 1990.

“Hey, I’m glad you’re here. Listen to me: we’re on a roll!”
“If you say so…”
“Now, I have a great, new idea for another movie! I only tell you the title, and I’m sure you’ll be sold on it—”
“Let me guess: La Casa 5.”
“…have you been reading my notes?”
“No, it was just pure luck. So, do we have some C-list stars?”
“Never mind the stars! We have the director of this new, sure-fire horror film called ‘Troll 2′! And we’ll be shooting in New Orleans. What could possibly go wrong?!’
“So many things. Anyways, what’s the title for the American market?”
“Oh, I’ve decided to fess up: this one is going to be ‘House 5.’”
“Great. A title with a 5 in it. Sublime.”
“Hey, remember Five Easy Pieces?”
“Whatever.”

Meanwhile, in 1989, in America, another movie came out as “The Horror Show” or “Horror House” or, ultimately, “House III”. But what happened to it in Italy – and by the way, they caught up with this movie in 1991. Let’s eavesdrop…
“Hey, we got the rights for this horror movie, ‘House III.’”
“Great! Let’s distribute it. But with a slightly different title.”
“All right, what?”
“Let’s call it ‘La Casa 7.’”
“…’House 7′? …why?”
“So it’ll glide in the series of La Casa and people will flock to see it and I’ll make a lot of money!”
“…but-but-but… There hasn’t even been a ‘La Casa 6!’ We skipped one house!”
“Well, we’ll tell them we were looking only on one side of the street, so of course from ‘La Casa 5′ there is ‘La Casa 7′, no?”
“Yeah. Sure.”

And so, this concludes the sad, pathetic and silly saga of “La Casa”, in Italy. I invite you to make one minute of silence for all the victims of this story (mostly, the movies).

ADDENDUM 1: The American horror movie “Superstition” (1982) was distributed in Italy as “La Casa di Mary (Mary’s House)” yet again to capitalize on ‘La Casa’ in a title. It semi-tanked.

ADDENDUM 2: Still in Italy, “House II” has been re-issued subsequently with the title “La Casa 6″, trying to fill in the gap left out by the never-made “real” ‘La Casa 6′. People weren’t pleased.

ADDENDUM 3: For the Italian home video, “House III” has been re-titled “La Casa III”. Don’t ask.

A TIM BURTON FILM

Dark Shadows

***

Review by Paul Preston

There are two great ways to have fun in this movie. It’s fun to watch Barnabus Collins deal with being in a new time period. That setup is fun. But there’s bonus fun to be had in just watching Johnny Depp BE in this movie. He’s just having fun and it’s contagious.

Johnny Depp plays the aforementioned 200+ year-old Vampire Barnabus Collins, who’s freed from his grave in the 1970s to find that his family, home and business have all gone to shit. He fights to keep everything together while comedically dealing with advances in technology, drugs, and slang. It’s a fish out of water deal, often played for laughs.

I never watched the original soap opera “Dark Shadows”, but it has some rabid fans who have to be angered by some of the goofy updates. The screenplay is written by Seth Grame-Smith, who wrote the novel “Pride & Prejudice & Zombies”, so I guess he’s the go-to guy for screwing with classic properties.

The opening is fantastic. Sets up the story and is full of great imagery and Danny Elfman’s score. The production design is fantastic, Collinwood mansion is an eyeful. Music and design are two things you come to expect from a film directed by Tim Burton. He only makes Tim Burton movies, so whatever the original source material, in the end, it’ll get turned into a Tim Burton movie. The poster for “Dark Shadows” almost suggests that he’s remade “The Addams Family”, and he has been a run of remakes – Wonka, Sweeney Todd, Alice in Wonderland, this. I long for something really original from him again, only to be told that his next film is a remake of his FIRST film, “Frankenweenie”…(sigh).

Further research into Tim Burton revealed that he’s local to where I am. I live in Burbank now and he apparently grew up here. If Burbank instilled in him all the weird characters and stories he puts on the screen, I’m beginning to fear what I will become after prolonged exposure here.

But back to Depp. What a miracle he is, as a super-handsome guy with some acting pedigree, he never takes himself seriously. All our comic actors – Jim Carrey, Eddie Murphy, etc. – are dying to go pensive and sober, Depp continues to mine more laughs than any of them. And it’s only right that Depp plays a vampire. Vampires, of course, are immortal and it doesn’t look like Johnny Depp has aged a day in thirty years.

Michelle Pfeiffer stars as the matriarch of the Collins household, who has also aged well, and has a good hold on the powerful female archetype. Chloe Grace Moretz, grows up very quickly as the Collins’ sexy daughter. Sadly, she’s miscast, seeming more to “put on” her sexiness than naturally exuding it. And it’s great to see Eva Green as an evil witch who puts the initial spell on Barnabus, turning him into a vampire for not returning her affections. She is as gorgeous as she was in “Casino Royale” and relishes the chance to play an diabolical bitch.

Burton, as popular as he is, has never made a truly GREAT movie as a director. Entertaining movies, sure, but nothing truly GREAT, and this feels uneven here and there and the ending gets a little blown out of hand with action and special effects. But if he’s not gonna make anything like “The Hurt Locker” and he’s just going to be entertaining the masses, he does that here. And again Depp proves to be a lot of fun onscreen.

Directed by: Tim Burton
Release Date: May 11, 2012
Run Time: 113 Minutes
Country: USA
Rated: PG-13
Distributor: Warner Brothers Pictures

OFFICIAL TRAILER

MAY 10, 2012
We’ve heard from everyone about “The Avengers” huge opening weekend. And now director Joss Whedon himself is engaging his fans about the film’s big splash on his blog. It’s this accessibility and his ability to be a fan and director at the same time that makes him as popular a pop culture figure as he is. Read his take on “The Avengers” HUGE May 4th HERE.
-PP

MAY 9, 2012

TOM HANKS NEGOTIATING FOR FIRST BROADWAY ROLE.

Yes, please.
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MAY 8, 2012
Because you can’t have too many, here’s another “Prometheus” featurette!:

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MAY 7, 2012

A new film that came out last weekend set a record! …you’re probably thinking of “The Avengers” and it’s huge weekend. However, in the interest of ying and yang, Miley Cyrus appeared in a film that earned a paltry $440 per screen. In fact, what it made in total didn’t equal what “The Avengers” made per screen! Read more about the debacle that is the annoyingly titled “LOL” at MOVIELINE.
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Excited about upcoming movies? You will be. Or, you’ll be frustrated by how much trailers give away. Either way, they’re all here for your enjoyment.

As ever, we recommend our WEEKLY MOVIE PREVIEW to tell you the real deal about every weekend’s releases. Plus, we’re funnier.

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN (opening 7/3/12)

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES (opening 7/20/12)

THE EXPENDABLES 2 (opening 8/17/12)

FDR: AMERICAN BADASS (opening 9/24/12)

GIRL IN PROGRESS (opening 5/11/12)

MAGIC MIKE (opening 6/29/12)

RUBY SPARKS (opening 7/25/12)

YOUR SISTER’S SISTER (opening 6/15/12)

JOSS DO IT

The Avengers

****

Review by Paul Preston

“The Avengers” kicks ass.

This movie is the huge, sprawling, massive summer entertainment you want it to be. A funny, action-packed, smart, clever mix that gets everything right. The word “Epic” gets thrown around a little too much today. It’s used to describe parties and tweets, but this movie in the true sense, is epic. There have to be fifty to sixty ICONIC shots in this film.

The lofty idea to pull this off seemed improbable. Back in 2008, you make “Iron Man”, with the promise of movies for Hulk, Thor and Captain America that will lead to The Avengers movie. For Marvel, a brand once on the verge of bankruptcy, to make this happen is an amazing achievement.

Some plot for ya – Thor’s brother Loki, none too happy being tossed in a black hole-y thing at the end of the Movie “Thor”, finds a space portal that brings him to Earth, and he wants to bring an army here so he can rule over us. That’s his thing, as a god, he just wants people to kneel before him. He’s one of the more needy bad guys in a while. But Tom Hiddleston plays him just right. He’s a nice mix of power and sniveling. The only way to fight him is to put together this supergroup of heroes.

All of the characters are interesting. It probably speaks a lot to the fact that they all had their own movies, something those Batman movies of the ‘90s could learn from where they jammed seven or eight characters into one film, but the whole thing seemed bogged down. Here, everyone gets equal time and attention paid. Even Hawkeye and Black Widow, who never had their own movies, are interesting. I kept waiting for the moment where, OK, now we have to deal with this or that character instead of someone I care about. Never happened. You care about them all. They even made The Hulk interesting, and they’ve been trying that for three movies.

It doesn’t hurt that there are good actors all over this film.

Mark Ruffalo is the best yet at playing Bruce Banner. Not lapsing into dullness or overdoing it. The Hulk has a moment towards the end that is a stand up out of your chair applause moment – the last character who I thought would prompt that.

Robert Downey, Jr. stars as Tony Stark, the role of his lifetime. And you can tell he LOVES playing it. That goes a long way.

After watching him play youthful wiseass Johnny Storm, Chris Evans is a really improbable choice to play Captain America, but he nails it. His early work makes him look like the kind of actor that might wanna be jokey and pull focus, but he plays Steve Rogers as straight, square, righteous and order-barking as he needs to be. In fact, it’s HIS movie that I want to go back and see after watching this.

And Thor has some great lines. You think he’s gonna be all pomposity and grandeur, but he’s got charm and wit. Can you tell I liked it?

I never watched Joss Whedon’s TV shows that he’s famous for, so as a Movie Guy, I only know his movie work as the dude who wrote TOY STORY and directed the cult hit SERENITY, I never thought he’d have the chops to hit a home run quite like this. And there’s a special effects team working overtime to deliver every wide-eyed action scene right on target. Knowing what a pop culture geek Whedon is, he has ended up making a movie he himself would see from the front row on opening night, then hit the internet to praise.

The 3D does what 3D does a lot lately. It’s both not annoying and not necessary. They bypass a trap that movies like “Wrath of the Titans” and “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” fell in. “The Avengers” is a movie first, theme park ride second, so they don’t SHOOT for 3D, with excessive scenes where the filmmakers spend time reaching out at you or throwing stuff in your lap. It just so happens that there’s a third dimension to this world that’s already very, very cool.

Alan Silvestri provides a quality score, and I actually left the theater humming the theme. When you think about it, outside of Michael Giacchino, there aren’t many composers out there making scores that stick with you. Maybe Hans Zimmer, but the days of John Williams and Danny Elfman crapping out winners you leave the theater whistling routinely aren’t as frequent as they used to be.

“The Avengers” never sets out to grapple the emotional intensity of Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy, but what themes they do cover, they cover well – teamwork (obviously), sacrifice, conflict and loss.

There are a bunch of key moments this movie gets perfect. When it could have delved into melodrama or camp, it never does. To go into further details would provide spoilers, but just know that every moment a lesser film would’ve faltered, this movie gets better.

The summer movies may have peaked early.

Directed by: Joss Whedon
Release Date: May 4, 2012
Run Time: 142 Minutes
Country: USA
Rated: PG-13
Distributor: Marvel Studios/Paramount Pictures/The Walt Disney Company

OFFICIAL TRAILER

MAY 6, 2012
Tyler Perry’s studio in Atlanta was engulfed in flames last week. This may cut production of Perry films down to only six a year. READ ABOUT IT.
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MAY 5, 2012
R.I.P. Adam Yauch (aka MCA), from the great and all-powerful Beastie Boys. If you’ve never seen “Awesome, I Fuckin’ Shot That”, a concert film shot by cameras given to fans, do yourself a favor. Start with this clip of the opening of the movie:

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MAY 4, 2012

The Ben Stiller comedy “Neighborhood Watch” has been given a new name due to the Trayvon Martin murder and subsequent brouhaha: “The Watch”. Read on HERE.
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MAY 3, 2012

You don’t often hear of actors replying to critic’s reviews, but with the whole world seeming to like “The Avengers”, when I’ve-never-caught-him-smiling N.Y. Times reviewer A.O. Scott panned the film, Samuel L. Jackson retorted: “NY Times critic AO Scott needs a new job! Let’s help him find one! One he can ACTUALLY do!” Let’s not forget that Samuel L. Jackson is a mushroom cloud-layin’ mother fucker, mother fucker!
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MAY 2, 2012

If you’ve ever played the CD-ROM game back in the day, “Monty Python’s Complete Waste of Time”, you have to believe that after a while the Python-ites would come up with a way to waste time on the go, now that so much computer technology is portable. Terry Gilliam says your wish is granted! He recently announced two new apps – one straight-up goofy and one a virtual exploration of the shooting days in and around “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”. Read more HERE.
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NEWS 92FM – HOUSTON
May 4, 2012
Movie Guy Paul Preston talks with afternoon anchors Bonnie Petrie and Mike Barajas about what’s new in theaters. This week, the huge summer spectacle “The Avengers”. Hint – it’s awesome.

(4 min., 21 sec.)

MAY 1, 2012
Why would a movie website care about theater awards? The majority of musicals nominated for the Best are based on movies! – “Leap of Faith”, “Once” and “Newsies” are up for the awards. Get all the nominees HERE.
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APRIL 30, 2012

This week in bullshit, Baskin-Robbins will have ice cream sundaes based on the movie “Men in Black III”
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APRIL 29, 2012

You are not prepared for this movie. Before opening in the U.S., “The Avengers” has already grossed $178 million overseas. Well done, Marvel. Well done.
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The Movie Guys bring you original videos about nothing but movies, movies, movies. View away, go nuts, and don’t hesitate to check out our YouTube page where you can subscribe to our channel, find embedding info and get more lowdown about the videos.

TRAILERS FOR THE BLIND – “SAFE”

The Movie Guys aren’t just about goofing around, we also provide a service. Evidenced in each month’s “Trailers for the Blind” segment, this month focusing on the Jason Statham action film “Safe”.

Click HERE to follow us on iTunes!.

The Movie Guys bring you original videos about nothing but movies, movies, movies. View away, go nuts, and don’t hesitate to check out our YouTube page where you can subscribe to our channel, find embedding info and get more lowdown about the videos.

SAFE – THE MOVIE GUYS’ 2-MINUTE TRAILER BREAKDOWN

SAFE, this month’s Jason Statham action movie, gets a thorough once-over from Movie Guy Paul Preston and special guest Chris Gore. Quick, sharp and funny, we’ll tell you what it’s all about.

Click HERE to follow us on iTunes!.

APRIL 28, 2012
It’s hard to believe anything bad could be said about Peter Jackson’s upcoming “Hobbit” films, but apparently ten minutes of footage that debuted at Las Vegas’ CinemaCon this week wasn’t greeted with the love an admiration the first three Tolkein films were. Apparently it’s because of technology trying to catch up to ambition. Jackson is shooting at 48 frames per second, twice the speed of a normal film’s frame rate. He believes that will make the 3D look more amazing than ever. His full rebuttal to critics is in THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER.
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APRIL 27, 2012

This seems like the no-duh casting decision of the day. Gina Carano of “Haywire” is in talks to star in “Fast 6″. Her and fellow lunkheads Vin Diesel and The Rock. Damn – testosterone city. Read about it HERE.
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APRIL 26, 2012

In an interview at the Tribeca Film Festival, documentary Michael Moore says it’s difficult to get people to talk to him on camera any more. Ah yes, the downside to popularity in the documentary world. This and more gets discussed and you can read it at THE WALL STREET JOURNAL.
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APRIL 25, 2012

Never one to shy away from the newest PIXAR news, “Toy Story 3″ director Lee Unkrich is on board to head up a production based on the Mexican holiday “Dia De Los Muertos”. This is adding to a fuller and fuller Pixar production schedule. Woohoo!
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APRIL 24, 2012

Dolby Sound Labs have been working on new sound technique for theaters that would have the sound not only on your left and right through the speakers on the walls, but sound coming from ABOVE as well, so the whole cacophony of noise is more realistic than ever. The picture above is because they’ve already thought about how essential this will be to increasing the power of horror movies! Read more at THE NY TIMES.
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The Movie Guys LIVE!

Couldn’t make the latest Movie Guys show in Hollywood, CA? Check out exclusive clips here and be sure to make the next show at The Second City Hollywood, the 1st Thursday of every month. View away, go nuts, and don’t hesitate to check out our YouTube page where you can subscribe to our channel, find embedding info and get more lowdown about the videos.

M.I.L.T. – MAN IN LOVE WITH “TITANIC”

In this clip from The Movie Guys LIVE!, April 2012, Movie Guy Lee Kias “comes out” in front of the whole audience as a M.I.L.T.
Inspired by the April 2012 re-release “Titanic 3D”

APRIL 23, 2012
How do you follow “Black Swan”? Make a movie about the end of the world…and the beginning. Lemmee ‘splain. Russell Crowe has been tapped to play Noah (yes, that Noah) in a Darren Aronofsky’s film about the famous ark-builder. My favorite ark movies usually involve the Ten Commandments, but this should kick ass. Read more HERE.
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APRIL 22, 2012

An actor performing as Judas in “The Passion of the Christ” HUNG HIMSELF in Brazil earlier this week. He hung for four minutes before other cast and crew members noticed. Normally it’s Christs who get hurt in this production, getting accidentally stabbed by failing collapsable spears or ascents into Heaven that go awry. No divine intervention, though, I suppose, when you play Judas. Read more HERE.
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APRIL 21, 2012

It’s been announced that Christopher Nolan has shot over AN HOUR of “The Dark Knight Rises” in IMAX. That’s the most IMAX footage for a feature ever. Read about IMAX’s big comeback, it’s presence in numerous summer features this year and dominance at the box office in THE WALL STREET JOURNAL.
-PP

The Movie Guys bring you original videos about nothing but movies, movies, movies. View away, go nuts, and don’t hesitate to check out our YouTube page where you can subscribe to our channel, find embedding info and get more lowdown about the videos.

THINK LIKE A MAN – THE MOVIE GUYS’ 2-MINUTE TRAILER BREAKDOWN

THINK LIKE A MAN, the new comedy based on the book by Steve Harvey, gets a thorough once-over from Movie Guy Paul Preston and special guest Chris Gore. Quick, sharp and funny, we’ll tell you what it’s all about.

Click HERE to follow us on iTunes!.

NEWS 92FM – HOUSTON
April 20, 2012
Movie Guy Paul Preston talks with afternoon anchors Bonnie Petrie and Mike Barajas about what’s new in theaters. After goofing with each other over with “American Pie” and “Titanic 3D” the last few weeks, Paul talks about the more serious subject of the documentary “Bully”.

(3 min., 49 sec.)

APRIL 20, 2012
The posters are out for the new G.I. Joe sequel, “G.I. Joe: Retaliation”. Why are we excited? ‘Cause if you take the Stephen Sommers out of any equation, the result is a better movie. New G.I. Joe movie, new director, new interested. Check out the posters HERE and click through where they say to to check out four other posters, including one with Bruce Willis.
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APRIL 19, 2012

“The Hunger Games” is a massive hit, and now the sequel, “Catching Fire” has a director. After Gary Ross couldn’t do it, they went with “I Am Legend” and “Water for Elephants” director Francis Lawrence, who looks here like Frederick Zoller of “Inglourious Basterds”. He seems like a good successor to us, ’cause “The Hunger Games” kinda played out like part “I Am Legend” and part “Water for Elephants”.
-PP

APRIL 18, 2012

Robert DeNiro had some interesting stuff to say at the Tribeca Film Festival. Most interesting to us is that he’s working on a script for a sequel to “Midnight Run”. We at The Movie Guys LOVE that film, so the idea’s either intriguing or horrible. We’re still mulling it over. And that isn’t the only revelation he shared in the Judd-Apatow-monitored conversation. Read all about it HERE.
-PP

APRIL 17, 2012
I don’t know how a Trekkie in the U.S. would have the money to fly to London, but if one would be so lucky, they can see what must be coup, even for a “Star Trek” convention: All five TV show captains on stage together. Wanna book a flight? Get the details HERE.
-PP

APRIL 16, 2012
Here’s another viral video promoting “Prometheus”. Further proof that Ridley Scott is determined to bring back the arty, brainy, sci-fi style he founded thirty years ago. Welcome news, indeed.

-PP

APRIL 15, 2012
Your new posters for “The Amazing Spider-Man”. Looks like an animnated film, which it probably will mostly be:

-PP

Excited about upcoming movies? You will be. Or, you’ll be frustrated by how much trailers give away. Either way, they’re all here for your enjoyment.

As ever, we recommend our WEEKLY MOVIE PREVIEW to tell you the real deal about every weekend’s releases. Plus, we’re funnier.

BERNIE (opening 4/27/12)

THE BROKEN TOWER (opening 4/27/12)

GET THE GRINGO (opening 5/1/12)

HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET (opening 9/21/12)

JESUS HENRY CHRIST (opening 4/20/12)

KATY PERRY: PART OF ME 3D (opening 7/5/12)

LOOPER (opening 9/28/12)

PIRANHA 3DD (opening 6/1/12)

RISE OF THE GUARDIANS (opening 11/21/12)

THAT’S MY BOY (opening 6/15/12)

NEWS 92FM – HOUSTON
April 13, 2012
Movie Guy Paul Preston talks with afternoon anchors Bonnie Petrie and Mike Barajas about the newest “American Pie” movie “American Reunion”.

(4 min., 30 sec.)

The Movie Guys bring you original videos about nothing but movies, movies, movies. View away, go nuts, and don’t hesitate to check out our YouTube page where you can subscribe to our channel, find embedding info and get more lowdown about the videos.

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS – THE MOVIE GUYS’ 2-MINUTE TRAILER BREAKDOWN

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS, the Joss Whedon-produced trippy take on classic teens-in-the-woods horror film, gets a thorough once-over from Movie Guy Paul Preston and special guest Chris Gore. Quick, sharp and funny, we’ll tell you what it’s all about.

Click HERE to follow us on iTunes!.

APRIL 14, 2012
Your first look at the poster for the new Quentin Tarantino movie “Django Unchained”. And if you want to know plot details, THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER‘s got ‘em.
-PP

APRIL 13, 2012

Once a year or so, former way-awesome actor and kick-ass director Mel Gibson has to find himself in the news for all the wrong reasons. He’s again in the news not for a the number one film at the box office or for an award-winning film. Now his latest project about the 2nd Century Jewish Maccabee revolt has had the plug pulled on it. Certainly an odd choice to begin with for Mel, whose anti-Semitic rants have been well documented. But now there’s a full-on fight between Mel and writer Joe Eszterhas (as the writer of “Showgirls” and “Sliver” – also a stranger hiring…). Read THIS article, then just start Googling this to read all the nasty (awesome) back and forth.
-PP

APRIL 12, 2012

For those of you waiting patiently for a “Sin City” sequel for seven years now, you’ll finally get it. THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER says that financing has been secured for “A Dame to Kill For”. Director Robert Rodriguez says they were waiting for just the right material to one-up the original. I’ve always thought “Sin City” was one of Rodriguez’s best films, rarely slipping into the excess that bogs down some of his work. A return to this world is good in my book.
-PP

The Movie Guys bring you original videos about nothing but movies, movies, movies. View away, go nuts, and don’t hesitate to check out our YouTube page where you can subscribe to our channel, find embedding info and get more lowdown about the videos.

THE THREE STOOGES – THE MOVIE GUYS’ 2-MINUTE TRAILER BREAKDOWN

THE THREE STOOGES, The Farrelly Brothers’ re-do of the classic comedy trio, gets a thorough once-over from Movie Guys Paul Preston and Adam Witt. Quick, sharp and funny, we’ll tell you what it’s all about. In and out, nobody gets hurt.

Click HERE to follow us on iTunes!.

APRIL 11, 2012
Your first look at “Skyfall”, the latest James Bond film (due later this year) is available at FANDANGO.COM. Four pics for now and a promise of a full behind-the-scenes visit to the set next week.
-PP

APRIL 10, 2012

What a lousy time to be in a hurry. Director Gary Ross says he will not be back to direct “The Hunger Games” sequel “Catching Fire. He doesn’t have the time. This from the guy who waited five years between “Pleasantville” and “Seabiscuit” and eight years since “Seabiscuit” to direct “The Hunger Games”. Now that he’s on to a good thing, he’s too busy. Stick around, Gary, you done a good thing. But…if you’re gonna go, PLEASE tell Darren Aronofsky to pick up where you left off! Get Ross’s full statement at The Hollywood Reporter.
-PP

APRIL 9, 2012

Today in “The Dictator” news:
- “The Dictator” co-star Ben Kingsley is in talks to co-star in “Iron Man 3″.
- “The Dictator” has moved its release date from May 11 to May 16, to avoid conflict with the Tim Burton comedy “Dark Shadows”. This may be the only dictator you can push around.
-PP

The Movie Guys bring you original videos about nothing but movies, movies, movies. View away, go nuts, and don’t hesitate to check out our YouTube page where you can subscribe to our channel, find embedding info and get more lowdown about the videos.

THE MOVIE GUYS’ MARCH 2012 MOVIE RECAP

Movie Guys Paul Preston, Lee Kias, Karen Volpe and Adam Witt look back at the month of March and all the movies that came out that you’ve forgotten about, including PROJECT X, JOHN CARTER, 21 JUMP STREET and CASA DE MI PADRE.

Click HERE to follow us on iTunes!.

NEWS 92FM – HOUSTON
March 30 – April 6, 2012
Movie Guy Paul Preston talks with afternoon anchors Bonnie Petrie and Mike Barajas about new releases in the theater, including “The Hunger Games”, “Wrath of the Titans” and “Titanic 3D”.

THE HUNGER GAMES

(4 min., 16 sec.)

WRATH OF THE TITANS & TITANIC 3D

(4 min., 46 sec.)

CHEATING WITH SEQUELS, NON-SEQUELS AND “SERIES”

Italy Hates American Movies (At Least Their Titles) – Part 2

Article by Matteo Molinari

Sequel-mania! Have you ever had the unpleasant experience of going to see the sequel of a beloved movie, only to find out that the sequel is horrible, pathetic and irritating? I won’t name names – it would be tacky. Wait! I am tacky, so here you have a few examples, in random order: “The Odd Couple II”, “Basic Instinct 2″, “Son of the Mask”, “Speed 2: Cruise Control”, “Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd”, “Caddyshack II”, “Superman IV: Quest for Peace”, “Son of Pink Panther”, “Teen Wolf Too”, “The Godfather Part III”, “Star Trek V: The Final Frontier”, “The Whole Ten Yards”, “Species II”, “The Sting II”, “Jaws: The Revenge”, “Smokey & The Bandit 3″, “Batman & Robin”, “Staying Alive”, “Police Academy: Mission to Moscow”… The list is pretty darn long.

Now, for a change, imagine this: you go to the movies sure to see the sequel of your beloved movie… and you find yourself staring at a movie that has no connection with the earlier flick if not for some similarity (it takes place in space; it’s a comedy; one of the actors saw the previous movie), but it is NOT the actual sequel of the actual movie you actually want to see. Granted, here in the U.S. something like that happened with “Halloween III: Season of the Witch”, but at least the movie was part of the “official” saga created by John Carpenter.

In Italy, something happened that’s much worse. For instance…

“2002: La Seconda Odissea” (literally, “2002: The Second Odyssey)”; this movie carries a title reminiscent of a certain flick by Stanley Kubrick (no, not “Barry Lyndon”). Well, people flocked to see it – remember, when it came out, no internet. We couldn’t verify the information as quickly as we do now. Well, the movie was really a 1972 eco-sci-fi movie with Bruce Dern, called “Silent Running”. Not a bad movie, and yes, its director, Douglas Trumbull, was the guy responsible for the special effects of “2001″, but the movie had nothing to do with a monolith, evolving monkeys, and a lot of silence. It had three robots named Huey, Dewey and Louie (in the U.S.; in Italy they were Paperino, Paperina and Paperone – Donald, Daisy and Uncle Scrooge. Go figure!).

“Balle Spaziali 2: La Vendetta” (literally, “Spaceballs 2: The Revenge”); the movie borrows its title from the well-known Mel Brooks’ parody, but in reality is a so-so Randy Quaid comedy called “Martians Go Home”. I’m not sure if you saw it, but if you haven’t, please don’t. In Italy an audience almost rioted after realizing they’ve been tricked.

“Ancora Più Scemo” (literally, “Even More Dumb”); this is a movie where Jeff Daniels plays a lawyer who gets replaced in court by Michael Richards. Here it was “Trial & Error”, a straight comedy vaguely romantic, which had nothing to do with “Dumb and Dumber”.

Also, allow me to add one of the best twists ever (on a separate paragraph because this is not an American movie): the 1974 Turkish flick “Çirkin dünya” was distributed in the U.S. as “Ugly World” and/or “Last House in Istanbul”. Since it was about three criminals who terrorize the family of a doctor, in Italy they thought to title it “La Gang dell’Arancia Meccanica” (literally, “The Clockwork Orange Gang”. No points to figure out what movie they were trying to capitalize from).

CRAZY AND SCHOOLS

Another BIG problem with movie titles is when distributors try to suggest to you that their movie somehow belongs to the same genre or style, and so they title it similarly to illustrious predecessors (one example: “Home Alone” was distributed as “Mamma, Ho Perso l’Aereo” – literally, “Momma, I’ve Missed the Plane”. Huge success. When Macaulay Culkin starred in the dark-humoresque “My Girl”, they put it into theatres as, “Papà, Ho Trovato un Amico” – literally, “Daddy, I Found a Friend”. Metrically the title was the same. Thematically, not really – Macaulay dies at the end of the flick! Picture the faces of the audience, when they saw that plot twist).

However, the contagion is much more serious when it comes to use “Pazzo” (crazy) and “Scuola di” (school of) in the titles.

Allow me to explain these two plagues.

Besides a few attempts in the past – namely 1959’s “Li’l Abner”, which became “Il Villaggio Più Pazzo del Mondo” (“The Craziest Village in the World”).

1974’s “Bank Shot” a.k.a. “La Rapina Più Pazza del Mondo” (“The Craziest Robbery in the World”)

1976’s “The Gumball Rally”, known as “La Corsa Più Pazza del Mondo” (“The Craziest Race in the World”)

1977’s “Can I Do It ‘Till I Need Glasses?” which became “Il Film Più Pazzo del Mondo” (“The Craziest Movie in the World”).

The real one “responsible” without any faults on its own for the Crazy craze was “Airplane!”. The awesome comedy came out as L’Aereo Più Pazzo del Mondo” (“The Craziest Airplane in the World”), and since it single-handedly redefined a comedy genre, the idea of a movie with “crazy” in the title (better if “craziest something-something in the world”) automatically was guarantee for your movie to be zany, absurd, hilarious… but often time that wasn’t the case.

In the list of “Crazy” movies, let me reveal you a few…

“Airplane II: The Sequel” – “L’Aereo Più Pazzo del Mondo… Sempre Più Pazzo” (“The Craziest Airplane in the World… Even Crazier”)
“Young Doctors in Love” – “L’Ospedale Più Pazzo del Mondo” (“The Craziest Hospital in the World”)
“Finders Keepers” – “Il Treno Più Pazzo del Mondo” (“The Craziest Train in the World”)
“Crimewave” – “I Due Criminali Più Pazzi del Mondo” (“The Two Craziest Criminals in the World”)
“Speed Zone” – “La Corsa Più Pazza del Mondo 2″ (“The Craziest Race in the World 2″)
“My Blue Heaven” – “Il Testimone Più Pazzo del Mondo” (“The Craziest Witness in the World”)
 
“Driving Me Crazy” – “L’Auto Più Pazza del Mondo” (“The Craziest Car in the World”)
“Frozen Assets” – “La Banca del Seme Più Pazza del Mondo” (“The Craziest Sperm Bank in the World”)
‘Senior Trip” – “Senior Trip, La Scuola Più Pazza del Mondo” (“Senior Trip, The Craziest School in the World”)
 
 
 
Of course, the Italians, who are always good in borrowing ideas (at least titles) did also the spectacularly unfunny “L’Esercito Più Pazzo del Mondo” (“The Craziest Army in the World”) and “Il Sommergibile Più Pazzo del Mondo” (“The Craziest Submarine in the World”). More than “craziest,” these two were “moderately demented,” but this is another story.

Among the variations on the Crazy theme, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” has become “Una pazza Giornata di Vacanza” (“A Crazy Vacation Day”), “History of the World: Part I” is “La Pazza Storia del Mondo” (“The Crazy History of the World”) and “Porky’s” is sadly known as “Porky’s Questi Pazzi Pazzi Porcelloni” (“Porky’s These Crazy, Crazy Pigs”).

Also, probably because they thought that they weren’t that crazy and so they had to limit their bounds, “The Cannonball Run” and “Cannonball Run II” became “La Corsa Più Pazza D’America” and “La Corsa Più Pazza D’America 2″ (“The Craziest Race in America”). And recently, “The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard” has been presented as “La Concessionaria Più Pazza d’America” (“The Craziest Car Dealer in America”).

And then there is the “Scuola di” series.

“Scuola di” means “School of,” and it was created for the widely successful “Police Academy”. Instead of titling the movie, as it should have been, “Accademia di Polizia” (as in, “Police Academy”), they titled it “Scuola di Polizia” (as in, “School of Police” or “Police School”, as you wish).

And they opened the floodgates. Any movie titled “School of —” became synonymous with uproarious, madcap, knee-slapping adventure with funny characters. And again, a lot of movies – too many, really – fell under the umbrella-ella-ella of the “School of —” curse.

Among these (not counting the subsequent Police Academy episodes)…

“Real Genius” became “Scuola di Geni” (“School of Genius”)
“Jekyll & Hyde… Together Again” became “Scuola di Sesso” (“School of Sex”)
“The Monster Squad” became “Scuola di Mostri” (“School of Monsters”) – Why!??!?!
“Toy Soldiers” became “Scuola di Eroi” (“School of Heroes”) – this is not even a comedy!
“Reform School Girls” became “Scuola di Buone Maniere” (“School of Good Manners”)
“Stitches” became “Scuola di Medicina” (“School of Medicine”)
“Sky High” became “Sky High – Scuola di Superpoteri” (“Sky High – School of Superpowers”)

In order not to lose their ability of leeching, Italy made also the two colossally unfunny “Scuola di Ladri” and “Scuola di Ladri – Parte Seconda” (“School of Thieves” and “School of Thieves – Part II”).

And finally, the two worlds collided when the abysmally horrendous comedy “Stewardess School”, which should have been titled “Scuola di Hostess” (as in, “School of Stewardess”), it was called… “L’Aereo Più Pazzo del Mondo 3″ (“The Craziest Airplane in the World 3″). The audience was sooo not pleased that the distributors quickly reverted the title to a faithful translation of the original movie. Not surprisingly, it didn’t help. A rose by any other name, is still a sucky movie.

APRIL 8, 2012
R.I.P. Mike Wallace. Although there are many great interviews you can see involving the great Mr. Wallce (Jose Canseco, Ayatollah Khomeini), we would be remiss as Movie Guys if we didn’t point out that Christopher Plummer’s performance AS Mike Wallce in the outstanding “The Insider”, your home-viewing recommendation of the day.
-PP

APRIL 7, 2012

Another death knell for DVD, and even Blu-Ray, Universal Pictures has just made their films available on iCloud. So now, renting from iTunes will allow download of a film to any device connected to Apple’s iCloud. The above graphic shows how Fox has not made films available in that way yet. All I’m saying is that I already miss DVD extras and audio commentary…(sigh). Read more HERE.
-PP

APRIL 6, 2012

If you follow THE LATEST, you know I’m a big champion of Harvey Weinstein and his battles against the antiquated MPAA rating system. Well, congrats, Harvey, “Bully” has been given the PG-13 you fought for. An R would’ve kept the film from being seen by those who would most benefit from it. The film expands to more screens April 13th.
-PP

APRIL 5, 2012

Don’t know if it’s Disney Magic or Photoshop, but these photos of real girls reflecting the exact look of famous animated Disney characters are creepy…and sexy…and creepy/sexy. Especially Rapunzel. CHECK ‘EM OUT.
-PP

APRIL 4, 2012

How done are DVDs? YouTube, even though they are constantly at odds with Paramount and their host company Viacom over copyright issues, will now be hosting Paramount movies for rental, expanding their catalog to include movies like “The Godfather”, which I know I’ve always envisioned on a 19-inch screen…(sigh…and not the first ‘sigh’ of this edition of THE LATEST…)
-PP

APRIL 3, 2012

The Farrellys, on a press junket for “The Three Stooges”, have said that “Dumb and Dumber 2″ will start shooting in September, and that both main actors from the first film are on board. Jeff Daniels, too? This is how he follows up “The Newsroom”? Interesting.
-PP

APRIL 2, 2012

Which pop culture phenomenon to fans have more fun with? “Star Wars” or Disney? Here’s another go at classic Disney movie posters to keep the debate raging, making the legendary films ‘arty’. Enjoy all of ‘em HERE.
-PP

The Movie Guys LIVE!

Couldn’t make the latest Movie Guys show in Hollywood, CA? Check out exclusive clips here and be sure to make the next show at The Second City Hollywood, the 1st Thursday of every month. View away, go nuts, and don’t hesitate to check out our YouTube page where you can subscribe to our channel, find embedding info and get more lowdown about the videos.

“21 JUMP STREET” PITCH MEETING

In this clip from The Movie Guys LIVE!, March 2012, The Movie Guys look at how the movie “21 Jump Street” must’ve gotten greenlit.
Inspired by the March 2012 movie “21 Jump Street”

Excited about upcoming movies? You will be. Or, you’ll be frustrated by how much trailers give away. Either way, they’re all here for your enjoyment.

As ever, we recommend our WEEKLY MOVIE PREVIEW to tell you the real deal about every weekend’s releases. Plus, we’re funnier.

A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN (opening 5/4/12)

THE DICTATOR (opening 5/11/12)

NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH (opening 7/27/12)

PROMETHEUS (opening 6/8/12)

SPARKLE (opening 8/17/12)

TED (opening 7/13/12)

TOTAL RECALL (opening 8/3/12)

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN, PART II (opening 11/16/12)

The Movie Guys bring you original videos about nothing but movies, movies, movies. View away, go nuts, and don’t hesitate to check out our YouTube page where you can subscribe to our channel, find embedding info and get more lowdown about the videos.

MIRROR MIRROR – THE MOVIE GUYS’ 2-MINUTE TRAILER BREAKDOWN

MIRROR MIRROR, the new Julia Roberts fantasy film, gets a thorough once over from Movie Guys Paul Preston and Karen Volpe. Quick, sharp and funny, we’ll tell you what it’s all about. In and out, nobody gets hurt.

Click HERE to follow us on iTunes!.

APRIL 1, 2012
There’s a great event coming up at the Motion Picture Academy. Tavis Smiley is hosting a 50th anniversary screening of Oscar-winner “To Kill a Mockingbird” with special guest Mary Badham (Scout) in attendance. Here are the details:
Wednesday, April 11, 7:30 p.m.
Samuel Goldwyn Theater
8949 Wilshire Boulevard
Beverly Hills, CA 90211
Doors open at 6:30 p.m.
All seating is unreserved.
Only $5!
-PP

MARCH 31, 2012

Because you demanded it, world. We are now hearing of negotiations to make a sequel to the Ivan Reitman film “Twins”. Adding to the chaos, Eddie Murphy will play the third member of the triplets, along with Schwarzenegger and DeVito. I assume Arnold and DeVito will be in it. When you hear about triplets in an Eddie Murphy, it’s not unusual to think Murphy would play all three characters himself.
-PP

MARCH 30, 2012

Here’s your logo for the Superman movie that’s still a year away. See how it’s “Steely”? See that?
-PP

NEWS 92FM – HOUSTON
March 9-23, 2012
Movie Guys Paul Preston & Karen Volpe talk with afternoon anchors Bonnie Petrie, Kevin Charles and Mike Barajas about new releases in the theater, including “Wanderlust”, “Friends With Kids”, “Game Change”, “Bully”, “Mirror Mirror” and “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen”.

WANDERLUST & FRIENDS WITH KIDS REVIEWS + “BULLY” PREVIEW

(4 min., 32 sec.)

GAME CHANGE

(4 min., 43 sec.)

MIRROR MIRROR & SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN REVIEWS

(3 min., 32 sec.)

 
 
 
MARCH 29, 2012
How true are the rumors that “Anchorman 2″ is in the works? Well, Ron Burgundy himself showed up on last night’s episode of “Conan” to make the announcement. He also found time to impress everyone with his flute-playing abilities, if you have an unusual definition of the word “impress”. WHAMMY!

-PP

MARCH 28, 2012

Well, it’s happened again. Real life events screw with movie releases all the time. Remember how pissed you were ’cause “Collateral Damage” got grief ’cause it came out too close to 9/11? Yeah, you weren’t the only one. There was a NATIONAL UPROAR! Remember?!?! Now it seems the dopey comedy “Neighborhood Watch” will get marketing adjustments (and grief) thanks to George Zimmerman’s over-enthusiasm with the gun. Does it matter that Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn fight ALIENS in this movie? Not to those whose job it is to be angry and offended by stuff.
-PP

MARCH 27, 2012

Fuck the MPAA. You heard me! And kudos to Harvey Weinstein for releasing the documentary “Bully” with no rating. Will it hurt it’s box office? Did “Bully” have real shot of doing ANYTHING at the box office to begin with? Will everyone of all ages see this movie when it’s on TV anyway? No, no and yes.
-PP

MARCH 26, 2012

New “The Avengers” pictures! New “The Avengers” pictures! New “The Avengers” pictures! No further comment necessary.
LOOK UPON THEM!
-PP

MARCH 25, 2012

I guess if James Cameron is nothing else, he’s authentic. His love of deep-sea exploration is no joke as he has now travelled to the deepest point on EARTH! He specially-built submarines to withstand the pressure and has now boldly gone where only a few people have gone before. Say what you will about the King of the World, but I have to imagine that’s one of the most isolating, scary trips one can take. Read about it HERE.
-PP

MARCH 24, 2012

Here’s a GREAT idea. Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood is going to have a screening series of old movies that once played in the legendary movie hall. Best part – they’re charging the old prices. Yes, movies in Hollywood for 25¢! I wish they’d charge me to 1997 prices to see “Titanic” next week.
-PP

MARCH 23, 2012

Hey, it’s news about us! Our “John Carter” review has gone viral, and we’re happy to have bee re-posted by JohnCarterFiles.com. Take a LOOK.
-PP

MARCH 22, 2012
Jimmy Kimmel’s star-packed “Movie: The Movie” will now be seen in its rightful place…the movies. Screenvision has picked it up for it’s pre-showtime entertainment packages, so if you want to see the likes of George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks and more high-wattage movie stars screwing off in a goofy comedy short, keep your eyes peeled at your local cineplex…..or watch it here:

MARCH 21, 2012
Today is my birthday, so you’ll get no recent news, just trailers for my favorite films of all time. Enjoy:

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

BROADCAST NEWS

-PP

The Movie Guys LIVE!

Couldn’t make the latest Movie Guys show in Hollywood, CA? Check out exclusive clips here and be sure to make the next show at The Second City Hollywood, the 1st Thursday of every month. View away, go nuts, and don’t hesitate to check out our YouTube page where you can subscribe to our channel, find embedding info and get more lowdown about the videos.

“THE LORAX” PREVIEW

In this clip from The Movie Guys LIVE!, March 2012, Movie Guys Paul & Karen preview the movie “Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax” while trying not to break rhyme.
Inspired by the March 2012 movie “Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax”

CELEBRATING 26 YEARS OF STUFF ‘N’ THINGS

The Movie Guys go to Wonder-Con

Comments by Paul Preston
Photos by Adam Witt & Paul Preston

Everyone knows Comic-Con, the San Diego pop culture extravaganza that goes on every July. Have you heard of Ape (the Alternative Press Expo) in San Francisco? No? How about Wonder-Con? If Comic-Con is the Alec Baldwin of pop culture conventions, Wonder-Con is the Stephen Baldwin (leaving Ape the Daniel Baldwin of said events). Normally existing in San Francisco, Wonder-Con came to Anaheim this year due to renovations to San Francisco’s convention center. Being in Anaheim, the event was easier to get to by all the crazies in Los Angeles, but there seemed to be fewer costumes and get-ups than in San Diego. I guess they’re not onto the event’s proximity yet. Or they’re just so crazy that they lack the skills to register online in a timely fashion. Or know what proximity is.

It wasn’t overcrowded. It was inviting, full of good people and lured some pretty decent Hollywood types to promote what’s coming out, movie-wise, in the next year. And movies are what we focus on. Here are some of the sights and our comments:

As with all these types of events, you’re greeted by these Yahoos:

And they’re evil counterparts…

(You can see in Cobra Commander’s helmet reflection just how excited Adam was to meet such a legendary character)

Adam put it best, however, you feel safest in a place where Stormtroopers outnumber actual security:

I don’t know if it’s because “Superman: The Movie” producer Ilya Salkind was signing autographs or what, but safety measures were sharpened for this event. Even The Punisher had to check all his weapons past security before he could roam the floor. And it went on like one of those bits where the dude keeps pulling weapons out of everywhere – the pistol from behind his back, the knife in the bootstrap, etc.

A guy like me goes to Wonder-Con for the big, splashy movie studio presentations of upcoming movies that tie into comics, fantasy and sci-fi genres. And there was plenty of good presenting to satisfy your nerd jones. A guy like Adam goes for EVERYTHING offered up.

Here are a few convention floor highlights before we go inside the Third Floor Ballroom (For the record, “Third Floor Ballroom” doesn’t have the same ring as Comic-Con’s “Hall H”. Wonder-Con might wanna work on that).

As always, The Movie Guys are the first with movie news! So we’d like to report that Marvel has been secretly working with Walt Disney Pictures to bring us all an “Avengers” movie. There you go. Scoop uncovered.

You got to pose for photos with Thor’s hammer (which was actually quite heavy). I thought, “Hey, I’d like to look like Chris Hemsworth! Gimmee that!”. However, as evidenced in the picture, I look like Tom Brokaw or something. Next photo.

Adam “scored” at one of the video booths, coming away with hard-to-find DVD copies of the TV movie of “Doctor Strange” (who knew there was such a thing), the 1977 TV pilot of the animated “Spider-Man: The Movie” and long lost animated “Hulk” cartoons from thirty years ago. Now for people like my wife, my parents and any clergy I know, this isn’t necessarily “scoring”, but for Adam, it was the mother lode.

Light sabers for sale.
(No further caption necessary)

This droid talked to more hot chicks in spandex than half the guys attending Wonder-Con.

If this were any other robot, it would look like this child is being eaten. But it’s R2-D2, so it’s all good.

Adam’s getting a shot here of the first Batman and Superman I’ve seen in the SoCal area that didn’t ask me for a dollar.
________________________________________________

Now, on to the Third Floor Ballroom (Nope…still doesn’t sound like a place where something awesome would happen). Hall H in San Diego holds about 6,000 people. Being the baby brother of Comic-Con, Wonder-Con’s presentation room held about 3,000. Don’t get me wrong, that’s still a crap-ton of people lining up to hear about “Battleship”.

The first film out of the gate was “Sound of My Voice”, a creepy movie about a couple of documentary filmmakers who are embedding themselves in a local cult when, naturally, things go wrong, documentary ethics are questioned and “Martha Marcy May Marlene”-type murders occur. The first twelve minutes of the film were screened, a wise move for a film nobody knows anything about. Well timed, too, as the last line of the footage is the ringer for what kind of cult this is, and introduces the sci-fi element a crowd of 3,000 geeks needed.

Then two members of “the cult” talked to the audience about the creepy sect they belonged to. This seemed like a great idea that somehow fell flat. I think one cult guy didn’t know where the booth on the convention floor was to find out more info and both had commune-like low energy that didn’t help rev up excitement for the film. This was followed by a by-the-numbers Q&A with the filmmakers and star.

Presentation aside, the footage spoke for itself. The movie looks like a very well-made indie that’s creepy and could find a “Blair Witch”/”Paranormal Activity” audience if rolled out correctly. It was a Sundance hit that opens in April.

THE FIRST TWELVE MINUTES OF “SOUND OF MY VOICE” CAN BE SEEN HERE.

LOOK UPON THE CLARITY OF THIS iPHOTO!!

Next up was 20th Century Fox, rolling out new trailers for two summer films. First was “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”. A short film was played where “Tim Burton” (a zombified corpse on a hospital bed surrounded by two hot nurses and “Dr. Andrew Weil”) introduced the presentation. He could not attend because he was in London.

Then the screenwriter (and writer of the original books) Seth Grahame-Smith came out to moderate a Q&A with director Timur Bekmamnetov and star Benjamin Walker. Timur was of little words, but Walker seemed to be a big fan of the project and he looks strikingly like a young Liam Neeson, who ironically was originally cast as Honest Abe in Spielberg’s “Lincoln” (before Daniel Day-Lewis got the role). They said more than once that history is a great launching point for this horror/sci-fi adventure because Lincoln himself had a childhood and “origin story” not unlike a superhero’s. This particular version of that story just happens to have vampires.

There aren’t many writers who come across as genial and energetic as Seth Grahame-Smith. He goofed on Stephanie Meyer and seemed thrilled to pieces that anything has become of his goofy stories that bend history (he also “Pride & Prejudice & Zombies”). Overall, the film looks WAY (perhaps TOO) stylized. From the clip and new trailer they showed, the film has no interest in being in reality at ALL. Not quite “The Lincoln Story…plus vampires”. As Adam would remind me, with a title called “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”, I should expect some exaggeration. Well…there’s certainly that on display here!

Next up was what most people in the convention center were there to see. Ridley Scott (the world’s most famous Ridley) on hand to introduce the newest 3D trailer for “Prometheus”. This was the most high-powered panel, as Scott was joined by writer Damon Lindelof (“Lost”), Charlize Theron and Michael Fassbender.

All signs are pointing to “Prometheus” being the “Alien” prequel everyone wants it to be. There is even some Giger-esque production design to whet your sci-fi appetite. Sadly, the new trailer doesn’t directly help us understand what the plot might be, but the good news is, the new trailer doesn’t directly help us understand what the plot might be.

This was the big prestige project of the day. No gimmicks, no bullshit, just Magento, Sir Ridley and Oscar winner Charlize Theron talking to that guy who fucked up “Lost”. Ridley returns to sci-fi for the first time in thirty years. People were pleased, and below you can see why:

Up next was a not-nearly-as-impressive summer slate from Universal Pictures. Lately, comedies and action movies have treated The Globe Studio well with “Bridesmaids” and “Fast Five”, but their fantasy offerings like “Cowboys & Aliens” and “Land of the Lost” have tanked. “Snow White and the Huntsman” and “Battleship” don’t look to change that trend, so hopefully “The Bourne Legacy” kicks ass…

Kristen Stewart looked her usual waif/goth/hot, but kinda seems dull in this new update of the Snow White story, stripping all the fun out of the story the same way “Robin Hood” with Russell Crowe did, replacing whimsy with armor-clad battles between armies. Theron came back out to discuss the joy of playing an unlikeable character (a run she’s been on lately after “Young Adult” and here as the Wicked Queen Ravenna).

They were joined by director Rupert Sanders, who’s making his debut. They debuted a new trailer and an extensive clip. But there’ll be no confusing this with the recently-released “Mirror Mirror”. Check out the differences below:

MIRROR MIRROR:

SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN:

This is not a flattering picture of Peter Berg.

But…he was working HARD to get us excited about the strange concept of “Battleship”. This movie is based on the board game, but…um…it has…uh…well, let me quote director Berg: “There are aliens in BATTLESHIP”.

Yes, aliens, and Berg, along with Brooklyn Decker and Alexander Skarsgard, gave us sneak previews of two extended scenes from the film. One was the kind of scene you can only get in a summer action movie. Taylor Kitsch plays a naval officer who seems like trouble, and we got a glimpse of his rambunctious ways in a six minute sequence that got known quickly as “the burrito clip”. Kitsch is determined to get a chicken burrito for Decker’s character when she arrives at his local bar after the kitched closes. He then goes to/breaks into a convenience store, busts the place up and draws the attention of the police to get her the burrito. This is “Battleship”. Too much unfunny comedy. Make with the aliens.

The next scene gave us just that. But it was still only mildly appealing. But I was quickly reminded that Liam Neeson is in the movie, so it may be too early to get down on it. Berg is definitely trying to be Michael Bay here. But with Michael Bay still out there being Michael Bay whether that’s requested or not, there may not be call for a second one.

But I hope “Battleship” isn’t a total wash, ’cause I’d hate to see the promising career of Taylor Kitsch completely go in the crapper, and that would definitely happen if this summer film tanks on the heels of “John Carter”. Kitsch played Carter as a healthy mix between Indiana Jones and William Wallace, often bothered to be helping, but really being good at it. I’m rooting for him.

This is my favorite image from the “Lockout” panel, ’cause it makes the moderator from IGN look like he has an afro.

“Lockout” doesn’t look good. And yet, it looks awesome. This is a movie for a very slim cross-section of male viewers, so the trailer we saw plays directly to them with no apologies. It has lines like “He’s a loose cannon”. Again, horrible. Again, awesome.

Maggie Grace was on hand to try like hell to make this appeal to women with stories about her family visiting the set and she debuted an extended, five minute scene where hero Guy Pearce is racing against, I don’t know, “bad guys”(?) to break into a cell on a prison in space to get to The President’s daughter. You see, in another horrible/awesome move, The President’s daughter is on a goodwill mission to the prison when a riot turns the whole jail into a madhouse. It’s basically “Escape from New York” in space. And “Escape from New York” was not horrible at all. Just awesome.

FIVE MINUTES OF FOOTAGE:

Those blobs in the center, at the table, those blobs are Milla Jovovich and Paul W.S. Anderson, star and director of “Resident Evil: Retribution”. I’ll admit I haven’t seen any of these movies, but perhaps I should subscribe to Adam’s theory that whenever a series gets four or five movies in, you OWE it to their hard work to check the movies out, for god’s sake.

Anderson has no problem being known as the “video game movie” director. He’s all about ‘bullet-time’, all the time, as the panel gave us a sneak peek of an action scene. This scene was nothing but Jovivich killing zombies in as stylistic a manner as possible. It looked like nothing matters in this movie except rampant killing. So, naturally, I was interested.

The super-crisp HD footage and 3D were pretty impressive, even if I didn’t know why Alice was wasting all these monsters, or why they were monsters in the first place. All I know is I played the very first “Resident Evil” game on PSOne YEARS ago, and there was no Alice in it. Apparently, the plot is expanded to a global level here and it’s to be the biggest of the “Resident Evil” films. OK! I’ll go already!

I LOVE discovering a new film at a con. In the past, it’s been films like “Red” and “Drive”. This year’s little-known film doesn’t come out until September. “Looper” is the latest film from the director of “Brick” and “The Brothers Bloom”, changing genres yet again to bring a time-travel movie to the masses. Rian Johnson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt gave fans the world debut of the trailer, which showed us Levitt as an assassin who kills people sent back in time for their execution. One rule – don’t let the victim escape. So naturally…things go wrong. This was such an exclusive event I couldn’t even find the trailer online to show you all now. Search harder than me and you may come up with something, and you won’t be disappointed by what you see.

Levitt’s a great actor and he and Johnson seemed genuinely excited about this project, which also features Bruce Willis as an older Levitt. It looks like it nails the genre and enjoys the fun and danger in the storyline. Johnson and Levitt had a great rapport, as if they whipped this film together for us and “go have fun with it, guys!”. It looks great.

Your finale was “The Amazing Spider-Man”, bringing out Emma Stone, director Marc Webb (Really? The director of a Spider-Man movie is named “Webb”?) and producer Matthew Tolmach. The best part of this panel was Tolmach. He was in total producer mode, totally in charge and totally funny and totally sure this movie was gonna be the greatest thing of the summer. Yes, he was funny.

Despite not being done with all the VFX, Webb showed a VERY extended clip montage, with high school scenes, action scenes and more. I thought it was cool just to see Spidey swinging in front of a blue screen to see what it looks like before the final cut. Tolmach and company were making the hard sell to let us all know just how different this Spider-Man story was going to be. GOOD. Since I first heard of this project, and that the whole project was going back to high school, I was underwhelmed. I mean, really? The origin story again? Well, with The Lizard and Gwen Stacey and a more mysterious background to Peter, they’re promising a storyline that is true to alternate comic book mythology, yet won’t be a re-tread.

So, slowly, I’m becoming interested, plus the cast looks good, especially Rhys Ifans as Dr. Collins/The Lizard.

That’s it till Comic-Con 2012, where there better be some dirt on “Pacific Rim” and “Start Trek 2″!

MARCH 20, 2012
Robert DeNiro made a joke (A JOKE) at an Obama fundraiser, and Newt Gingrich decided to use that as a reason to remind everyone that he’s still, for some reason, in the Presidential race. Read about the debacle HERE.
-PP

MARCH 19, 2012

George Clooney is free! This, after being arrested for protesting the genocide in Darfur. If he’s nothing else, he’s sincere. But he is something else, a bachelor/millionaire/Oscar-winner/filmmaker/writer/director/jealousy-maker. He is NOT running for President.
-PP

MARCH 18, 2012

If you don’t know about Steve Martin’s new book, it’s brilliantly titled: “The Ten, Make That Nine, Habits of Very Organized People. Make That Ten.: The Tweets of Steve Martin”. If the book is half as clever as the title, we’re all in luck.
-PP

MARCH 17, 2012

HBO’s “Luck” has run out. Despite a star-studded cast, three horse deaths on the set have cancelled the production. So, as our Movie Guy Adam Witt said, “So I guess we can all stop pretending to watch and like “Luck”?”
-PP

MARCH 16, 2012

JURASSIC PARK COMING BACK TO THEATERS IN 3D
Perfect example of a movie that was already in 3D, but we can finally see it that way. Think of all the shots in this movie that if you saw them in a 3D movie now, new, would make you say “oh they’re just exploiting 3D.”
-ADW

WIT AND WISDOM (SORTA) FROM DVD COMMENTARIES

It Came From The Sound Booth

Article by Matteo Molinari

Don’t get me wrong: I love DVDs. I really do. I own a lot of them. And I mean a lot. And I love them all. Individually, one by one, as if they were my own children – well, all right, maybe not so much “Son of the Pink Panther”, but let’s not go there now. When I buy a new one, I tend to watch everything (but I have an excellent excuse: I am a sick idiot. There! Top that!), and to listen to everything – yes, I’m talking about the Audio Commentaries. Sometimes I wonder: Who does take the time out of their busy life to listen to people rambling on and on and on about something they don’t even seem to be interested in, to begin with? Well, me!

See, it’s appalling how members of a production who carefully planned a feature for months (if not years), trying to foresee every possible problem before the shooting began, and single-handedly brought the whole production to a successful conclusion, suddenly can’t scribble on a 3 x 5 card half a dozen bits of remotely interesting information, anecdotes or trivia about a movie they worked on for so long and apparently so passionately. Instead, they all turn into a mass of babbling klutzes with the I.Q. of a beet, who seem to have a gigantic problem in assembling two subject-verb-object sentences without using “you know,” “like,” and “I love.”

[Quick Digression: Before I go any further: there’s plenty of great Audio Commentaries, informative and entertaining. Roger Ebert’s; Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker’s; Frank Oz’s (all right, he slipped on "The Stepford Wives", but even the best teachers might have a day off); Kevin Smith’s; “Weird Al” Yankovic and Jay Levey’s; all the Disney and/or Pixar animators’… The list goes on. Unfortunately, for every one good Audio Commentary, there are at least one hundred duds that are a humongous waste of time]
 

Aside from the value of the movie itself, did mankind as we know it really need two Commentaries for Jennifer Garner’s “13 Going on 30″? Since the director says on his track the same dull things that the three producers say on theirs, instead of two moronic Commentaries, why not team up and give us just a lame one?
 
 

Was it too costly to actually buy a microphone for J.J. Connolly, the writer of “Layer Cake”? And if he indeed had a microphone, would have been too much to check his pulse?
 
 
 

Has anyone understood at least one tenth of what’s said during the Commentary of “You Got Served”? And, if anyone did, has their life changed?
 
 
 
 
Why four, count them, four Commentaries for “Hostel”? And six for “Fight Club”?

But allow me to present you a few samples of what goes on behind a microphone…

THE “DUH!” FACTORY

Let’s start with Angela Robinson, the writer-director-editor of “D.E.B.S.” (2004), who enlightens us at the very beginning of her Commentary with something we are now grateful to know: “All right, here’s the beginning of the movie.”
 
 
 

Scott Derrickson, the director of “The Exorcism of Emily Rose” (2005), very clearly shines some light on one sequence: “This particular scene, especially, is really in the screenplay.”
 
 
 

At the very beginning of the Commentary for “Snakes on a Train” (2006), Count Mallachi (one of the two alleged brothers-directors of this straight-to-video flick), graces us with this invaluable lesson of cinema: “During the first cut of the movie, which was a helluva lot longer than this 90 minutes version, this [scene] went on for… For quite a while, but now it’s shorter, so the end result is a shorter scene.”
 
 

Shawn Levy, the director of “Night at the Museum”, helps us navigate the features of the Digital Versatile Disc with a, “You’ll see some of the deleted scenes on the deleted-scenes section of the DVD.” Just in case you got lost, and you were trying to watch them using the “Rinse” button of your washing machine.
 
 
 
USEFUL INFORMATION

The Commentary to “Resident Evil: Apocalypse” (2004) is provided by actors Sienna Guillory, Oded Fehr and a very hungry Milla Jovovich. How can we tell that she’s hungry? Well… CRUNCH! “That’s still me eating the sandwich. That’s not actually happening in the movie. This whole scene is silent.” To which Sienna replies with a circumstantial, “Right.” And then she adds, “For tension, they decided to play this whole scene silently.” And Oded Fehr interjects with, “You know, we must be able to say a little more—” CRUNCH! “Sorry, that was just a really a good bite.” “––I’m saying we must be able to say more than just, ‘Eating a sandwich.’” At least he realized that.

A great insight comes from actor Sharon Lawrence (who plays Sylvia Costas) in “NYPD Blue”: “Isn’t it nice to be able to say ‘pri*k’ and ‘a**hole’ on TV?”
 
 
 

Donna Arkoff Roth, Susan Arnold, and Gina Matthews, the producers of “13 Going on 30″ (2004), on the importance of wardrobe at a young age:
“Maybe it was only me who stuffed their bra– Who didn’t stuff their bra?”
“I definitely stuffed my bra.”
“Donna, you didn’t?”
“I stuffed my bra.”
“Donna apparently didn’t need to.”
“I didn’t need to.”
“No, I bought– I wore a bra long before I needed to wear a bra.”

———————————————————-
We interrupt this article for a pearl of acumen.

One of the silly and pointless extras for the silly and pointless movie “House of Wax” (2005) is a featurette that shows, on the bottom part of the screen, a series of images from the movie set that look like the video your drunk Uncle Roy shot at some distant relative’s wedding after quaffing a whole bottle of gin; and on the upper part of the screen is a couch with the Amiability Team itself! Four of the stars of the movie at their likeably best: Chad Michael Murray, Paris Hilton, Elisha Cuthbert and Jared Padalecki.

The affable quartet rambles on camera for some interminable 22 minutes, giving us at the same time a sublime lesson on how NOT to speak in public (especially when you’ve been taped), and how you would appear if ever forced on a couch with three people you apparently despise. The wisdom they share with us is priceless.
In this case, they give us a lesson in Special Effects:

“How are they turning on the lights?”
“Dude, they have those buttons outside.”

We now return to this article already in progress.
———————————————————–

I KNOW MY STUFF

The Commentary of “Across the Universe” (2007) is voiced by Julie Taymor, the writer/director of the film, and Elliot Goldenthal, the composer of the original music. At the end of the song Come Together, the director tells us, “First time Jo-Jo sings.” [Jo-Jo was played by actor Martin Luther McCoy, by the way] And at the end of the song Oh, Darling, the director again tells us, “And now you hear Jo-Jo sing for the first time.” Hmm. Provocative. Was she even on the set when they were shooting the movie?
 

James Franco gives us a nice commentary for one of his first directorial efforts, “The Ape” (2005), beginning with a nice, “Hi, I’m – uh – James Franco, I directed this film and I play Harry Osborne and I’m here with–” He’s quickly interrupted and corrected by Vince Jolivette, the producer of the movie. “Harry… Walker.” You see, it was the wrong animal movie. James Franco played Harry Osborne in Spider-Man (2002).
 
CLARITY, THY NAME IS COMMENTARY

Sir Roger Moore opens his Commentary to “For Your Eyes Only” (1981) (and any other Bond Commentary he made, for all it matters) telling us exactly like it is: “During these commentaries, which I would rather look upon as a conversation rather than a commentary – a one-sided conversation, of course. You can’t answer back. But it’s not so much sort of what actually happened during the shooting of the film in a chronological order, because I quite honestly do not remember after this number of years that have passed since I made Bond.” Gotcha. Thanks.
 

Renny Harlin, in his Commentary for “The Covenant” (2006), explains that he shot some scenes early in preproduction “when I was trying to determine the look of the movie” that he wanted to make very dark. And he stresses that “I didn’t want it to look similar to all the other dark movies that we’ve seen over the years,” referring to that bluish glow that many horror-related movies tend to have. The solution? “I wanted to do a bleach-bypass process to the film. Which means that you basically develop the negative in a different way, and accentuate the silver tones in the film and desaturate the colors, and give it a more contrast and a little bit more grainy look.” Good idea, Renny. Original. But then he continues: “And there are lots of movies that have been done like this. Movies that Ridley Scott or Tony Scott or David Fincher have directed. So you’ve seen this look in other movies.” So… Uh… Does it or doesn’t it look similar to other movies? I’m confused.

Milla Jovovich, from “Ultraviolet” (2006), tells us something that… I’m not sure, I have the sneaky suspicion that it’s unbelievable – but I might be wrong. I’ve been before: “The architecture in Shanghai, which is where this scene is shot, is unbelievable. Like, you see the reflection up there of that building. It’s the business centre of Shanghai, and it’s unbelievable for their modern architecture. It’s just these buildings like you’ve never seen. I mean, it’s really something out of “Star Trek”. It’s unbelievable.” And yet, I believe it.
 

Omari Grandberry, from “You Got Served” (2004): “I did my thug-thizzle-ma-jig, yeah.” Good, I was wondering about it, when I was watching.
 
 
 
 
EVERYTHING I KNOW I’VE LEARNED FROM DVD COMMENTARIES

Granted, what would you expect from a show called “Weeds” (2006)? Anyways, during his Commentary for an episode, Craig X explains, “Yeah, I’ll tell you, the first time I made pot brownies, I was in college. I was growing some pot, allegedly, and I had a lot of shake that I decided to make into butter. And how you make medical marijuana edibles, you have to bake the pot into butter. Put it on a stove on a low flame until your butter turns really green for a long time. You strain out the weed product and you’re left with this stony green butter.” Bobby Flay, eat your heart out!
 

In “Ultraviolet” (2006), Milla Jovovich gives us some news about what Chinese stuntmen do that is different from American stuntmen: “It’s unbelievable. I mean, the stunt guys in China are… You don’t fool around with them. They’re for real. Like, they jump off buildings for real and stuff. It’s, like, no joke.” Why, do American stuntmen just pretend to jump off buildings?
 

Let’s go back to “D.E.B.S.” (2004) and its Commentary provided by actors Jordana Brewster, Jill Ritchie, Meagan Good, and Sara Foster. Why?, you may ask. Well, because it’s time for us to learn the difference between doing comedy and doing drama: “I just think it’s… You feel a lot more self-conscious when you’re supposed to be funny, because it’s, like, an instant response. It’s like you either completely hit or completely miss. If you’re doing drama, it’s more subjective, and someone can go: ‘Well, she was– I related to her.’ Someone else will think you suck for a completely different reason, but there’s more– But as long as it’s true to the heart, it’ll be okay. It is subjective.” Class dismissed.

WHEN COMMENTARIES ATTACK

Probably it’s better to be flat-out honest: in his bizarre beginning of the Commentary for “The Girl Next Door” (2004), director Luke Greenfield saves his behind by saying, “Hey, it’s Luke. Thanks for tuning in. You know, I’ve been excited to do this commentary for a long time now. And it kind of sucks because I have to do it a second time here in spots because I legally was not allowed to say certain things.”
 

From his commentary in “The Hidden” (1987), director Jack Sholder makes this peculiar comment, “And now the scene where they wake him up, this… This is—This is one of the hazards of low-budget filming, which is… It’s hard to get good, like, really minor characters, and… The fella who plays the doctor and the woman who plays the nurse are just atrociously bad actors, I mean, it’s like… Horribly B-type actors. At this point, whatever I was doing, I would not accept actors of that quality.” A comment like this would make an actor SAG — what an amazing and dreadful joke! [Oh, by the way: the actors he referred to are Marc Siegler and Charlene White]

Lorenzo Semple, Jr., in his Commentary for “Batman” (1966), talks about the stars of the movie, Adam West and Burt Ward. “Adam West was sensational. He really– He was– He was the part, inside to out. And he was a very– At the time, the series was so successful, it really—It’s hard to remember or believe, but he would be mobbed in the street when he went out. People would– Grown-ups and children would pop around him. And he was wonderful throughout. He gave autographs, he always retained his balance. He was a wonderful guy. Burt was, well, not quite that.”

Director Eli Roth of “Hostel: Part II” (2007), mentions a question that a lot of people allegedly keep on asking him, and then gives his answer: “They’d say, ‘How can you put such violence in a movie?’ I’d say, ‘How can you support the Bush administration who kills people in Iraq for oil, and Dick Cheney and Halliburton, all of his buddies, get rich off of it?’ And that’s effectively what “Hostel: Part II” is about. “Hostel: Part II” really is my disgust with the Bush administration with the fact that these oil guys are getting rich off the death of Americans. And you can see it. I mean, look at Hurricane Katrina. For five days, the U.S Government did nothing. I mean, nothing happened. What did Bush say? ‘We dodged a bullet’? I won’t turn this into Bush bashing, I don’t wanna make this political, but actually, Hostel: Part II is a very politically charged film. And these are things that I think of, and these are things that upset me.” I must have dozed off during the movie. I just thought that “Hostel: Part II” was the story of three female tourists who become the victims of rich, bored men. My obvious mistake.

Well, so far the list ends here. But there are A LOT of other Commentaries, and I don’t expect for you to listen to all of them. Me, on the other hand, I have a lot of free time in my hand – and I also have insomnia. Stay tuned.

LATALKRADIO.COM – BROAD TOPICS
March 13, 2012
Movie Guys Paul Preston and Adam Witt stopped in on LA TALK RADIO’s “Broad Topics” to discuss “John Carter” and “Friends With Kids”. (11 min., 15 sec.)