Oscar Statue


We tweeted the shit out of the internet on Oscar Night 2013. See it all below (most recent posts are at the top)

That’s it for the Oscars. Thanx Hollywood, we look forward to you being interesting again when IRON MAN 3 opens. #Oscars2013 #IronMan3

Did anyone else see “Betty White’s Off Their Rockers” tonight? HILARIOUS. #Oscars #Counterprogramming

Tomorrow on TMZ: Thirty minutes devoted to three seconds of Jennifer Lawrence falling down. #Oscars2013

Affleck + JLo, Paltrow, Spears, Hayek = 0 Oscars. Then he put a ring on it = Best Picture. #Oscars2013

Note to the Coen Brothers: If you lost the “F” back in 1996, you would’ve won best picture, too. #Oscars2013 #LessonsLearned

Somebody just slap Kristen Stewart already – or again.

Quvenzhane Wallis. Offensive tackle. San Diego State. #Oscars2013 @KeyAndPeele

Best Director, Life Of PI’s Ang Lee: Ben Affleck overheard to say “Don’t make me Ang Lee, you wouldn’t like me when I’m Ang Lee”

The winner of fourth best director of the year goes to Ang Lee! #Affleck #Bigelow #Tarantino #Oscars2013

Not for nothing, but the show has now gone on for 3.14159 hours. #LifeofPi

Congratulations Stifler!!!! #Argo #Oscars2013

“Billy Crystal looks younger than ever!” #OldAcademyVotersTweeting

Here’s a home game you can play with this year’s Best Actor nominees: “Drunk, crazy or Lincoln?” #Oscars2013

New adverb to describe a directing style that creates movies that make you feel like you’re on drugs: “You direct very AngLee” #Oscars

The hardest thing about watching a Nora Ephron movie is watching a Nora Ephron movie.

BARBRA STREISAND IS DEAD?!??! Oh, wait………thought she was part of the montage. She’s actually onstage. Onward. #Oscars2013

Best Oscar vocal fry goes to Kristen Stewart.

High much, Kristen Stewart?

The AMOUR montage features just as many shots and cuts as the film itself, just in a shorter amount of time. #Oscars2013 #Dogshit

SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK: Answering the burning question: “WIll these crazy people fuck?” #Oscars2013

Good to see The Oscars giving Susan Boyle a comeback. #Oscars2013

Sing it with us! BOND-bah-bah-bond-Bond, bond-bond-bond, Bond-bah-bah-bond-Bond, bond-bond-bond, BAH-BOND…(bond-bond-bond…) #lyrics #007

“Please welcome to the stage – Hollywood’s former Anne Hathaway, Sandra Bullock!” #Oscar2013

Congratulations to Anne Hathaway, one of America’s frailest talents. #Oscars2013

Helen Hunt was great in “The Sessions”, which is like “Mad About You”, if you were mad about someone in an iron lung. #Oscars2013

Woohoo! Just when I think DIE HARD wouldn’t be represented at the Oscars, the bad guy wins Best Sound Editing! #Oscars2013

SOUND MIXING: Otherwise known as the award for turning the volume up all the way the most.

Overheard at the Oscar Technical Awards: “Oscar looks like Dr. Manhattan!” #nerd #Oscars2013

I predict tonight’s program will run over time by 1 tribute to movie musicals #Oscar2013

Or, as he’s introduced at the Emmy Awards, “Please welcome Vinny Barbarino and The Boy in the Bubble, John Travolta” #Oscars2013

John Travolta wearing his “award’s show hair piece”. Looking good Barbarino.

Congratulations, AMOUR! The first film to win an Oscar without having an editor. #Oscars2013

How to know if the person you saw at the grocery store is the famous person you think they are:They’re shorter than you expected them to be.

I don’t think Hollywood can pass up the chance to award the movie about Hollywood saving the day #Argo #Oscar2013

ZERO DARK THIRTY: Are we the only ones put off by this film’s #Oscar campaign?: “Vote for us or the terrorists win” #Oscars2013

Here we go! Best Documentary Short!!! #bathroombreak #Oscars2013

Overlooked tonight: Best song nominee DJANGO UNCHAINED MELODY #righteous #Oscars2013

Shirley Bassey. Still gettin’ it done. Rex Harrison-ing it up a bit, but still gettin’ it done. #Oscars2013

The irony of the winner for Best Makeup Artist looking like they’ve never seen a pat of foundation in their life isn’t wasted on us.

Wooohooooo -aw #Bond #Oscar2013

That last award was won for Helena Bonham Carter hair wrangling. #Oscars2013

You can’t fool me Les Misérables, Helena Bonham Carter’s hair always looks like that #Oscar2013

Congratulations, makeup artists, you clearly weren’t nominated for wardrobe. #Oscars2013

That’s two wins already for LIFE OF PI. They just greenlit LIFE OF CAKE. #MelissaMcCarthy

How would you like to be the person receiving the award the only time they did that? #Jaws #Oscar2013

FU, telecast. Let the guy speak. The Spirit Awards wouldn’t do that to a VFX guy….if their movies had VFX…. #Oscars2013

I’m sure that seemed like a good idea at the time #Jaws #Oscar2013

Classy movies need to stop having good special effects so The Avengers can win something. #lifeofpi #Oscar2013

I’m so close to shutting this off and watching The Avengers -aw #Oscar2013

I guess if Roger Deakins had to lose to anything, Life of Pi is far from shitty photography #Oscar2013

Between Emmanuelle Riva (85) and Quvenzhane Wallis (9), Hollywood actresses over 40 now have two more reasons to worry.

I really thought FRANKENWEENIE should have won – because that was the only one I saw.

Best Animated Short Film: There’s an Oscar that will get you into NO parties.

From the Jodi Foster school of award show acting Paul Rudd & Melissa McCarthy bring you the Oscars version of “WTF were they talking about?”

Philip Seymour Hoffman lost the Oscar. In related news, so did Philip Michael Thomas. #Oscars2013

Tommy Lee Jones was great. You can see the horrors of The Civil War all over his face. At least I think that’s what’s going on there. #Oscar

And so begins the era of the Oscars appealing to people under the age of 40. #Oscars2013

Finally Channing Tatum is getting some play #Oscar2013

For those of you who opted to see something else in the theater besides BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD, we hope you enjoyed HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA

Duran Duran’s John Taylor looks fantastic! #AnneHathaway #Oscars2013

Kristin Chenoweth is no Ryan Seacrest. And we mean that as a compliment. #Oscars2013

John Goodman is the John Goodman of this year’s Oscars. #Argo #TheArtist #Oscars2013

Kristin Chenoweth is working the red carpet at the Oscars: The only person capable of making all the other actors look tall. #Oscars2013

“Oh this? It’s just a dress made from the tears of a thousand homeless orphans” #overheardontheredcarpet #Oscars2013

In a twist Alfred himself might appreciate, even the movie HITCHCOCK isn’t going to win an Oscar. #Oscars2013 #Goodeeeevning

David Bowie looks fantastic! #CharlizeTheron #Oscars2013

Like Jennifer Lopez and Gwyneth Paltrow before them, The Oscars are now in the business of screwing Ben Affleck. #BestDirector #Oscars2013

The wiseassery will flies here, and on Facebook! Join us at as we give The Oscars the business. #Oscars2013


Listed below are all The Movie Guys’ tweets, starting with the day after the Oscars, going back to the red carpet pre-show. We were busy:

Our favorite day-after headline – “Angelina Jolie: The Slit Everyone is Talking About”. That’s not awkward at all. #Oscars

Let’s recap. That’s THE MUPPETS – 1, WAR HORSE – 0.

Until next year, when we pray to god The Coen Brothers put out another movie. #Oscars

The Artist deserved the shit out of that #Oscars

That WAR HORSE looks pretty good. When does that come out?

Rick Santorum should be happy about The Artist because he’s warned recently about the devilish influence of the talkies #Oscars

I think it’s cute that they bother nominating other actresses when Meryl Streep is up for an award.

Glenn Close is no Peter Scolari #Oscars

Colin Firth seems unhappy about all of this #Oscars

Afghan airport hit by suicide car bombing. #TheresOtherShitGoingOnInTheWorld?

I really hope Dujardin just swore in French. #Oscars

With these extended nominee descriptions, I can see why they didn’t nominate Fassbender, protecting Portman from going on & on about cock.

Gary Oldman’s first nomination? #surprising

Are they taking about movies or cancer? #oscars #interviews

Sing it, Nat X #Oscars

Compared to The Artist and Tree of Life, Midnight In Paris wasn’t so much directed as shot #Oscars

The Academy gives Oprah an award, or face the wrath of Xenu. #Oscars

For those of you drinking at home: “Scorsese!”

The Fantastic Flying Books of Morris Lessemore, I think we all saw that coming #Oscars

I dont know anything about Best Documentary Feature but God Is The Bigger Elvis wins best title #Oscars

And now live action short is here to throw off every Oscar pool in America

Midnight in Paris Madlibs – You’re (name of famous artist)? That’s crazy. Repeat. #oscars

In an attempt for ABC to work the word into all of their show titles, expect NIGHTLINE, BITCH! this summer.

The Artist is way harder to write than Midnight In Paris, even the dialogue’s fresher #Oscars

Is it just me, or does Angelina look a little heavy?

Bret? Present. #oscars

It would be kind of ridiculous if any movie won for best score besides the movie that was ALL SCORE #Oscars

Better Nolte joke: “On a warm summer’s everning, on a train bound for nowhere…” #Oscars

This is actually Plummer’s second award, as he won the Oscar for the Most Purple in a Nose category in the early, non-televised section.

Brad Pitt is more fortunately named than his brother Stu Pitt #oscars

This is just an apology award for not nominating Christopher Plummer for Dragnet #oscars

Anyone else get the sneaking suspicion that all these tech awards for Hugo are an attempt to make up for no best picture or director?

Hugo’s cheating, because it’s a masterpiece

Ironically Stallone’s Oscar was never nominated for an Oscar

The director of “MouseHunt” has an Oscar. #RealityCheck

Glad they invented a special category to give Kung Fu Panda some recognition #oscar

How many white guys does it take to make a documentary about a black football team from Memphis? Apparently 6.

Chris Rock. Lookin’ like “Morgan Freeman: Before” #Oscars

And with that, Diddy is one step closer to EGOT. #Undefeated #TracyMorgan

If #TheArtist gets to do one of its scenes live on stage, the other films should get to as well. #Cirque

Yeah, Bret Ratner would have cut all this gay crap.

Girl With Dragon Tatoo deserved to win for best editing beacuse it’s source footage was re-runs of Three’s Company.

Not enough people getting hit in the balls with projectiles in the commercials #oscars #superbowl

Having Hugo win both sound categories eliminates the confusion over the difference between those categories #oscars

“Let’s get out of here. We’re editors.” It won’t get better than that speech tonight.

Oscar for best editing still isn’t enough to get you into the Elton John after party. Sorry boys.

My dog enjoying the Oscars.
Dr. Marvin enjoying The Oscars

This would be a better presentation with the Batman voice modulator #oscars #bale

Great. Now Rick Santorum thinks the Oscars are trying to build a nuclear warhead. #ASeparation

Iranian giving award speech. Director: “Cut to Jews in the audience”. #NotAwkwardAtAll

Foreign Language Film nominations are up – in other words: Bathroom Break!

Tonight’s Oscar telecast is broadcast through an airplane hanger, providing only the best in digital noise. #oscars

#Oscar Trivia – no silent movie has been nominated since there were silent movies, and a silent baseball movie has never been nominated

If you’ve never been inspired by the Oscars, the movies got Costume Design winner Mark Bridges out of Western NY. #Miracle

That’s some dress J. Lo is wearing – hey wait, when did Cameron Diaz come out on stage?

Either it’s Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez or these nominations are sexy! #oscars

Do they make a Jane Eyre movie every year? I always find out there was one during the costume awards #oscars

Roland Emmerich sighting in the last montage. #WorldsWorstMovieDirector

Gene Hackman sighting in that recent montage. #WorldsBestMovieActor

AND we have NIPPLE!

Hey, guy in row RRR, seat 112. Yes, we see you. Stop leaning into the shot. It makes it look like Billy has a head growing out of his elbow.

That’s two awards for HUGO. Someone at The Academy must’ve heard that Martin Scorsese directed it.

HUGO the movie about French film maker George Melies was apparently brought to you by Italy!

Now they’re doing that sketch where Ellen puts herself in commercials #oscars

And it’s over before it begins. Looks like it’s gonna be a clean sweep for Hugo. Time to turn the channel and watch Big Bang Theory.

Well earned, both awards #Hugo was a masterpiece

Took a dump had to DVR the show so my jokes might be a few minutes behind. Did Billy do that thing where he puts himself in all the movies?

This Billy Crystal montage seems more rehearsed and homosexual than it would’ve under Brett Ratner #oscars

Oscars! Why don’t we have Oscar-bowl commercials?

“Nine nominees for Best Picture, and once again black people are relegated to being THE HELP.” #ifchrisrockhostedagain

Natalie Portman: “It’s such a relief just NOT to be nominated”.

“EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE, or what it’s like meeting (fill in political figure or Harvey Weinstein)” #whatbillycrystalwillsay

I wonder who will win America’s Sweetheart? I’m thinking Emma Stone #oscars

Good to see Storm on the red carpet. With Halle Berry’s last-minute exit, Gwyneth did a fine job stepping in.

If I were Michelle Williams, I would not have followed up MY WEEK WITH MARILYN with that Dior spot. #Oscars

The Artist contains too few inspiring speeches to win Best Picture #oscars

Surprised Sissy Spacek didn’t get nominated, she nailed the southern accent #TheHelp

Lotta mom dates on the red carpet. You’d think an Oscar nomination could get you laid. #Oscars

Fun fact: Melissa McCarthy is related to Jenny McCarthy. And by related we mean she ate her. #Oscars

Syrian voting marred by violence. #TheresOtherShitGoingOnInTheWorld?

Glenn Close plays the opposite gender & gets nominated. I don’t remember none of y’all voting for NORBIT or THE KLUMPS #ifeddiemurphyhosted

Rooney, Kate… How many MARA them are there? #Oscars

Saw a nun on the red carpet. Thought it was Streep pulling a Sacha Baron Cohen for some upcoming movie. #Oscars

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Glenn Close #oscarmashups

Given that there’s no movie about Detroit Auto workers I can see no obvious winner this year #Oscars

Jonah Hill brought his mom to The Oscars, but strangely left her at home for THE SITTER premiere. #oscars

Meanwhile, at Brett Ratner’s house, he and Eddie Murphy are doing Jåger bombs and gorging themselves on Funyons. #Oscars

Last chance before the big show to follow along with the hoopla. Get our OSCAR RANT 2012 & play Will Win/Should Win:

We don’t know about you, but we’re doing a shot every time they say “Nobbs”. #Oscars

We will be live-tweeting our unique take, thoughts & comments throughout the entire Oscar broadcast. Stay with us all day!

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